because, if included, he would have only ranked #3

Hugh Jackman was named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive, angering the entire dead community because they've once again been excluded from the list.


it sure doesn't make my whites any whiter

Someone asked me why I always wear gray. "Is it your favorite color?" they ask. "It's so somber," they say. But the reason is that I'm just too lazy to separate the darks from the whites when I wash clothes.