8/20/08

because I'm tired of losing

When I was a kid I wanted to conquer the world. Nowadays, I'd be happy just to call it a draw.

8/10/08

maybe she should just add a hyphen

If Miss America married some guy from Rome, I wonder if she would keep her maiden name or if she would make everyone refer to her as Mrs. Italy.

7/20/08

advice

My friend said that he was tired of me always giving him unsolicited advice. "Let me tell you what to do about that..." I told him.

7/10/08

plus he always falls asleep at the wheel

I won't let my friend with lazy-eye drive me anywhere because he just can't seem to keep both eyes on the road.